This week has been interesting. I've wavered from being fine with the status quo to being extremely pissed off at my daughter. Mind you, I haven't let her know I'm pissed. It's just this isn't a good time for me to quit my job. Pastor came back from his vacation and he and I spoke and I let him know why I was resigning and how much I wish I didn't have to but...

He is completely supportive of me and the decision I made to put family first but he also let me know that he personally and the school board don't want me to leave. That it has already been discussed that when my boss retires, the position was to be mine. That's nice to know...too bad I won't be able to accept. The original plan was for her to retire in 2008 but due to health issues, she has since given notice that her last day will be May 31 of next year. I have waited for so many years to get this position and now, I can't accept it. Oh sure, I could put the baby in child care, lots of people do just that (and there is nothing wrong with it if it is a decision they are comfortable with) but I can't have my first grandchild being raised by someone else. Because of my job, I hear the horror stories, hell, I know people who have had a child die violently at a home day care...a recommended, checked out, licensed day care at that. It's too scary to consider. So, yes, I may be giving up my dream for now, but, one day, I will have the opportunity to return...and it sounds like they just might take me back. Kaitlyn's education and the well being of her child are top priority. I'm still young, I have time...and who knows, Maybe staying home is just what I need. Once again, I'll have a standing date with Bob Barker at 10 a.m.